ick up a couple of items, soak in a tub. Boston is a short shot down I-93 south and it goes by fairly effortlessly for a long-hauling professional such as myself. Poor June though (my VW), her check engine light came on only 2 miles or so into the trip and was still on when I pulled into the parking lot tonight. Who knows what's ailing her now but it's a reminder to get myself that AAA + membership I've been preaching to others to get.So, I wound up by the sea today while visiting a 
friend near Newbury, MA. We walked along the sandy shore which was deserted except for a handful of fisherman and an older couple walking their tiny black poodle. As such, there was little else I could do but quickly change into my swimsuit and plunge into the waves. The dropoff from the beach was steep so within a few metres of the shore I was well over my head. Emotions rose up in me, both deep gratitude and a strange unsettled swell inside my system. I don't know how to describe it -- i
t felt almost like a desire to break free -- of what I am not sure but I fought an inner temptation to just keep swimming out to sea and let go.
I could hear a Siren Song from within to push out and move beyond this world. The inspiration came not from overwhelm or despondency but simply from a wish to walk up to the edge and encircle myself with something so large that the only act left for me would be to surrender.
friend near Newbury, MA. We walked along the sandy shore which was deserted except for a handful of fisherman and an older couple walking their tiny black poodle. As such, there was little else I could do but quickly change into my swimsuit and plunge into the waves. The dropoff from the beach was steep so within a few metres of the shore I was well over my head. Emotions rose up in me, both deep gratitude and a strange unsettled swell inside my system. I don't know how to describe it -- i
t felt almost like a desire to break free -- of what I am not sure but I fought an inner temptation to just keep swimming out to sea and let go.I could hear a Siren Song from within to push out and move beyond this world. The inspiration came not from overwhelm or despondency but simply from a wish to walk up to the edge and encircle myself with something so large that the only act left for me would be to surrender.
I was grateful for my time with and by the ocean, deeply grateful -- and still something got dislodged, perhaps some more of my willingness to live an ordinary life gave way and went out with the tide. The disquiet stayed with me through my drive north to Barnet, VT and returned after a short dinner visit with my father and his wife on their way from Eastern Canada to Ontario. After saying goodbye at the restaurant tonight I drove south down I-91 and watched the crescent moon rising above the rolling mountains. The sky was milking from blue to charcoal. Once again I heard the siren's call, all this way inland, and felt displaced from a familiar way of being and walking in the world.
dry creek is finally dry, and the first day of fall brings a not-so-subtle hint about what's to come. grey skies and light rain. fluffy dog. puffy vest. making plans to pick apples at an orchard!
ReplyDeletemissing the dogs, my own puffy vest is a staple many mornings in the foggy garden, a little envious for the apple picking -- today is the first day of rain for many weeks here.
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