check engine light

...came on again within a week (or 500 miles) of my recent rather expensive excursion to the mechanic's shop. I laughed and shook my head last Sunday night as I was returning from a day in New Hampshire (see photos); what would be the point of getting angry? It is.

This orange symbol perniciously glows out from my vehicle's dashboard each time I start June (aka "my unsympathetic guru"), marring the perfection of an otherwise unobstructed reflection that all is as it should be. I was momentarily relaxed after my last trip to Schnell's VW Auto, exhaling deeply into a fragile self-insinuated sense that nothing was wrong. Funny how I am addicted to the notion that the world is in order and how my system tightens when I judge that something is out of 'flow'. Is it even possible for the Universe to be out of flow? The Universe is flow.

And yet, my consciousness is compelled to look for the proverbial stain on the carpet. Hilarious and sad that much of my attention and energy is committed to looking for what is off and then going to the ends of the earth to rectify this imagined defect. So kind of June to oblige this neurotic compulsion in her own way.

So, seeing both my compulsion as well as the orange dashboard light I wonder how I shall respond; a return trip to Peterborough is out of the question (but no doubt my righteousness wants proper customer service). My resources are limited and I am leery of more mechanical diagnostics and interventions which end up putting me in debt. As such, I continue to drive June with my AAA membership and cellphone in tow, trusting that if a breakdown happens the same perfection of the Universe will be at play and all will be just as it needs to be, just as it is.

And, I do miss my trusty 2001 Toyota Tacoma (aka "Hazel").